You poured milk as I was leaning on the balcony railing, staring at the beauty of the Eiffel tower. The streets here were of a surreal scent, like a concoction of bread and perfume. On my right was a sea of roofs, different shingles with different shades of red and gray. The morning sun had started to give the warmth I needed on my skin. The heavens felt a need to counteract the sun’s doings so it sent an easterly wind and as it caressed my face, I shifted my gaze towards you. You were sitting on one of the steel chairs in front of our breakfast table. You tapped the side of my teacup and told me I shouldn’t keep the warm milk waiting. I smiled at your expression which showed clearly just how delighted you were to be here with me. If only you knew how much I have hungered for this moment to arrive.

We were both distracted by the birds which flew across the blue sky and for a moment I wished that both of us were like them—free to fly away together. I shrugged at the thought for I knew that at this moment we were free and that this was all we have for certain. I smiled, remembering that I’ve always dreamed of going here and that as an adolescent, I fantasized that I would find love in this romantic place. Little did I know that I’d be going here only to show Paris that it does not have the monopoly on love.

Breakfast was a blur. There were croissants, cheese, strawberries, grapes and milk.  Fine bone china that glistened by the morning light. A cool wind which made the plants on our balcony dance. The sound of vehicles rushing below. I tried to remember every little detail; something told me that I should. Something told me that time was running out.

You stood up and took my hand. Your touch brought me to life, giving me a current of some sorts. You asked if we could dance and I only nodded my yes. I stood up as you started to hum our song and I was brought to a euphoric state. I touched your face as if to memorize it as I closed my eyes. Every moment felt fragile. Every breathing, fleeting. I marvelled at how your face didn’t show any expression of anxiety, only calmness. I only wished you wouldn’t feel my heart as it grew heavier. I pulled you closer towards me and your lips were on mine. I felt like I went through all of my days just to experience that moment .Everything else seemed insignificant and we faded into the morning light.

I woke up crying, feeling as though there was a hole in my chest. I sat on my bed with my back on the headboard and my heavy sheets on top of my legs, its weight seemed trifling compared to the burden I was carrying. As the sun peeked into my window and tears were continuing to cascade down my face, I realized that today was the 38^th day since death took you from me. It’s been that long since I lived only in my dreams and left reality for dead.

I knew I would never get used to a life without you, that this feeling would be forever, but I’d rather spend every morning like this than have a dream without you in it. I laughed lightly upon the realization that I was touring the world with you. Where could we possibly go when I sleep tonight? I took consolation from thoughts like this. Well, it doesn’t matter, really, just as long as you are with me.

Waking up from Paris, I realize that you are and will always be the heart of my dreams—you are my deepest desire.